Thursday, November 6, 2008

Almost Gross Friday

Ok, so when we were in college, Josh and I and a specific group of friends would always eat lunch together on Fridays. We'd usually get pizza or chicken strips and dip them in Ranch dressing. Everything tasted better with Ranch dressing. So the group consisted of mostly guys, with the exception of me and another girl (both girlfriends of someone at the table, which explains why we were there and continued to eat there after I tell you more). And the special thing about Friday was that it was called Gross Friday. Why? Cause the guys would always end up telling stories and talking about gross things. And if it was too inappropriate in front of mixed company, they would always ask me and this girl to fill up their iced tea drinks. But despite the refills, we heard some pretty nasty stories. And I say all that to say this: I know it's Thursday, but I've got two gross stories for you. You've been warned...

Last night Josh was changing Matthew's diaper before bed, and I was in the room getting his PJs ready (Matthew's PJs, not Josh's). And it was a dirty diaper, nothing huge, but still needed to be thoroughly cleaned. I turned on the overhead light so he could make sure he cleaned everything, and I hear him say this:

"Wait a minute, what's this?"

I turned to see what he was talking about, and he was in the process of pulling out a long dark hair from Matthew's butt! It didn't get caught in his diaper from the last time I changed him--it was literally coming out of him. So as much as I vacuum and try to keep the floor clean, apparently I missed a hair that Matthew swallowed.

Story number 2 surprisingly deals with number two ;). I just changed Matthew's diaper, and his solid food is finally taking affect. It was thick and dark and smelled like bananas. How nasty is it to smell something sweet that you'd normally want to eat, yet it still smells disgusting cause it came from a dirty diaper?

If you've been totally grossed out, I have no pity on you. It's your fault for reading.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Gross.........Thursday.

From time to time, I still remind Josh that every Friday is Gross Friday

Christi said...

Gross - lol!! And I will agree - everything is better with ranch dressing :-)

Sara said...

Oh, see, I thought you were going to explain that it was called "Gross Friday" because you dipped pizza in Ranch dressing. Because, seriously? Ew. THAT is gross.

But so were your stories. Wait until you start feeding Matthew blueberries. Oooh, or corn! Just you wait...

Janelle said...

Mary, why in the world you would write these gross stories on your blog is beyond me. I will not thank you for sharing because now I have a horrible image implanted in my head. I might even get nightmares! I think you should have pity on your readers!

Moz + Pam said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...how gross!!

Steve and Eden said...

First of all, Steve and I still love dipping our pizza and chicken strips in ranch dressing.

Secondly, we didn't think your stories were gross; we actually laughed.

Olyvia has had the hair thing before. And well, pooh is pooh.

Anonymous said...

Breck would be so proud - I'll have to let him know that Gross Friday . . . uh make that Thursday . . . finally found it's place in the blog! BTW until you've eaten the food at the Varisty, you cannot truly understand the blessings of ranch dressing covered pizza - espcially when it's poured by the foreign ranch lady :)